Tired. That's all I remember. I lied in Raven's arms for days. Weeks. I couldn't get up. Weak. That's the word for it. The hospital hadn't cured me. I was constantly coughing up blood. It was an awful existence. I couldn't fall asleep. I don't remember why not. There must have been something important my mind had created for me to stay up for.
But I couldn't. All I could possibly do was be alive, lying on Raven. And the rain. I almost forgot about it. It rained all day. It was a miserable kind of rain that would not wash the pain away, but push it back into your body. I writhed. How much could I take? Raven never moved or spoke. He just sat there as I laid there. He made me feel fragile. Fragile is a delicate term, but almost a powerful and miserable one. I felt like I was boxed in and couldn't move.
Or maybe I was paralyzed. That was a better explanation. But I wasn't. Why was this happening? Despair is all I could feel. I wanted to die. Or scream. Or make someone else feel the pain along with me. They deserved it. This world is messed up. I made a wish that everyone would die. Why should I be the only one to die a slow death. Certainly that is what this was...
I fell. I don't remember what point this was, but I was bleeding and writhing in black dirt, alone. I screamed. The pain was immense. I heard the clashing and banging of metal. We had been attacked. The horse was really scaring me. It was running around everywhere. Its screams frightened me. I didn't want to die by getting trampled to death.
I screamed as the horse ran inches away from me. I looked up and saw Raven and a man dueling. The other man was bloody. The next minutes went swiftly as Raven killed the man. I was shocked. I didn't know Raven was so... prepared for murder. He picked me up without a word. I tried to mouth "it hurts," but I don't think he noticed. Even if he did, he didn't care. Blood was on his hands now, and he wanted to visit Basil to wash it off.
I noticed I had woken up. When I fell asleep is a mystery. I had the strength to talk. "Raven..."
"Hm?" he gruffly replied.
"How could you kill somebody? Do you regret it?" I inquired weakly.
"What's done is done. These "regrets" will eat you alive if you decide to keep them as pets."
I wanted to be happy. Why can one not find happiness? My life is miserable. "Raven...Are you happy?"
He cleared his throat and his faced showed an expression I wouldn't expect from him. "Yes. I am happy. I will be happy for you when you're not. You have to promise to do that for me as well, correct?"
I giggled. This was stupid. I didn't have any time to think before I realized I was asleep.
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